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Un dimanche à Ste-Anne-De-Bellevue

Ce dimanche a été réservé pour une longue ballade familiale du côté non point de chez Swann mais de St-Anne-de-Bellevue-(Sur-les-Autoroutes). Village charmant, à la pointe ouest de l'île de Montréal, bordant le canal Lachine. Petites rues gentillettes avec un cachet authentique (on n'est pas chez Disney), nombreux restaurants, stationnements gratuits, tout pour attirer le touriste, plus exactement le cidatin fuyant la touffeur du Plateau.

Certe, le village est traversé par l'autoroute 20 et le chemin de fer en surplomb, et la belle vue donne rapidement sur l'autoroute 40, mais ce n'est pas trop gênant. L'écluse du canal Lachine, dont j'aimerai comprendre l'utilité, le niveau de l'eau étant le même de chaque côté (non: 18 cm de dénivellé me souffle-t-on), offre un spectacle charmant sur les bateaux.

Enfin charmant, j'exagère un peu.

Navrant plutôt, un étalage sans vergogne de beauferie doublé d'un art maîtrisé du mauvais goût. Opulence des blondasses et de douchbags tatoués cultivant avec ardeur leurs mélanomes, tous (je dis bien tous) avec le petit chien, peigné à la dernière mode. Indispensable accessoire canin, probablement là pour relever le niveau intellectuel... Après une longue observation, je peux confirmer que le marin d'eau douce n'a que 4 fonctions: prendre la pose en maillot, interpeller bruyament un congénère, siroter sa Labatt/Molson(*) et bien entendu, tapoter sur son cellulaire. Le décors serait incomplet sans la musique assourdissante. Enfin musique...

On aura compris qu'au contraire des embarcations, les embarqués eux touchaient franchement le fond. Bref, le prochain qui me parle de bateau comme objectif affiché de la réussite sociale, je lui ris au nez !

Évidemment, toute quiétude estivale ou dominicale insupporte le sexagénaire en Harley. Ah! Encore un autre animal fascinant! Compensant sa perte de libido en se collant un bicylindre sous le service trois pièces, pétaradant tous poils au vent dans un vacarme assourdissant, il viendra vous empester dans les recoins les plus calmes pour exhiber sa rutilante monture mi-chrome mi-cuirette(**). Un fléau ! A quand les lances-flammes en vente libre ?

Bref, un dimanche somme toute agréable malgrés les trolls en Harley et les beaufs en Seadoo...

(*) Urine féline similaire à la Kro ou la Kanter.
(**) Skaï pour les Français.

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